Happy Monday, friends! I posted this to my Instagram last week and I thought I would post it here as well, along with some thoughts I’ve had lately. I have been blogging for almost a year now. It will be a year in April. I feel like a part of me is alive and I’m finally doing something I absolutely love. From a young age, the only constant passion of mine has been fashion. It may sound silly to some, but it sparks something in me! Last year I took a huge leap of faith and LITERALLY put myself out there, and I am so happy I did. I have met so many incredible people and have hopefully helped some along the way, find their sense of style. I have also had some mental challenges to overcome and that’s what I want to share today.
There is something ALL bloggers deal with, and it’s comparison. If you say you don’t deal with it, then you are lying. It’s a human tendency and it’s something that is especially difficult on Instagram. It’s an amazing platform to get your name out there and grow your blog, but it has a very ugly side as well. I go through phases of feeling great about where I’m at, and then I look at so and so’s page and I go into this funk of “why am I not getting growth as fast as they are?” It’s a vicious cycle and frankly, it sucks. I’m sure some would say I have grown fast or I have great interaction, and of course I’m over here thinking I need to grow faster. Bottom line is that it’s not about numbers. It’s about me doing ME and not being affected by what others are doing. I am not trying to take over the world through Instagram, and to be honest, you have to remind yourself of that because it’s all about numbers on there. Everyone wants more, more, more! And that’s just the nature of it. The more numbers you have, the more people want to work with you, and the more open doors you have to opportunity. I have done some loop giveaways because I get antsy, and want fast growth. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it and honestly it’s not my place to say anything about it for other people. I feel like some giveaways have really helped my growth and then some that made it worse. The thing is, you have to be careful what you say to other bloggers. Everyone is on their own path and you have to respect that. Some get gobs of “likes” and then some have gobs of followers and get minimal “likes.” Everyone is different and everyone is going through their own battle. Be respectful of others and mindful of what you say.
When I am starting to get in a funk, I will take a step back and remind myself why I started. I did not start to become Instagram famous and to be cool, I started to inspire others with fashion and to have a creative outlet. My goals are now different a year into it, but that is still the foundation for me. I believe we all have a calling and that people are attached to our calling. It’s not just about my style and fashion. Maybe I made a positive impact on one of my followers and completely turned around their day, just by one little interaction?! That is worth all of it, for me! Something else I do, is reach out to a blogger friend for encouragement. They are going through the same thing as you and can be such a support when you need it. I have met THE most incredible blogging friends and they always make me feel better, because 90% of the time, they are experiencing the same feelings that I am.
If I can encourage you in any way, it’s just to be YOU. You will never be so and so, so don’t even try! Your followers are following YOU for a reason. They are interested in what YOU have to give. Don’t worry about what others are doing, just be the best you can be. We all have something unique to offer, so enjoy the journey because it shapes us and makes us stronger.
I hope I have at least made you feel normal and not alone, because it’s something we all deal with. I’m not sure how many people actually talk about this, but for me, talking about things like this, help me to get over it and back to doing my thang!
What are some ways that help you when comparison starts to set in? I would love to know!
Have a fab Monday, everyone! Lets make it a great week, shall we?! ๐
XO,
Mary โฅ
PS- This applies to all areas of life, not just blogging, but that’s a whole other post ๐
Currently residing in St. Louis.
Wife to JW + Mama to Sophia Rose and Jade Monroe. Denim + Sweets addict and lover of Jesus + All things pretty โฅ
I can so relate. I get caught up in comparison and it steals our joy. The Instagram rat rase. When I find myself doing it – I stop and unplug. I focus on life and being present in the moment, signed off and away from the digital world. It seems that when I let go – good things begin to unfold. Maybe it’s just the mental reality check that humbled me and makes me appreciate where I am or it’s a God wink. We are all exactly where we’re supposed to be. โค๏ธ
It definitely steals our joy!! Unplugging is a must. I need to do it way more than I currently do and I completely agree that when you “let go” good things happen. Thanks for sharing, Hayley! Hope you have an awesome week ๐
Love love love love this Mary!! I needed this reminder today!! So glad you started blogging- love your style and your heart!!
http://beyondblessedblog.com
Thanks Chloe! I appreciate your friendship so much!!
Wonderful Monday Blog Mary ๐๐ป
Everything you said is right on ๐
For me , being new to instagram I cannot ever forget that God Loves Me and He gave me my very own unique fingerprint .Nobody can do it like I can , nobody can say it like I can and I’m at peace with that ๐As long as I put God First in my life everything else seems to fall in it’s rightful place ๐๐ผ๐ค๐๐ป๐จ๐ปโค๐ซ๐๐๐๐ถ๐ปโโ๏ธ
so very true, nana ๐ Love you!
Couldn’t have said it better myself, love! I’ve been in a funk lately over my engagement post algorithm change. It’s really discouraging sometimes because I feel like I’m giving my all. But you worded this beautifully and I know I need to get my head in the game and “do me”. So happy to have met you through it all too!
Xoxo D
Danielle!! Thanks for your comment and let me tell you, you are one of the ones that motivate me to be better!!! You are rocking your platform and it inspires me to be better. The algorithm is the worst and they are out to get us, I swear lol! But yes, we have to stay true to ourselves, because on the other side of it, is a follower like me that thinks you’re SLAYING it! Lov ya girl!
Thanks for sharing, Mary! I’m obviously not a blogger but I think everyone struggles with comparison. I was just talking about this yesterday…. I feel like so many other mamas are tackling momyhood with grace and ease and I am over here with sick kids for 3 weeks straight and only the occasional shower ๐ I am super guilty of only posting an Instagram version of myself which is me taking 20 pics of my kids then only posting the 1 where all 3 kids are looking and smiling. ๐ณ Comparison can be ugly but we just have to remember that everyone is falling apart behind their Instagram accounts (or blogs) ๐ Love your blog and you definitely inspire me ๐
Ohhh girl, the mama comparison is a whole jumbo post in itself!!!! I struggled with that on Insta before I started my blog. I only post the good pics too, because who wants to remember the crappy days?! I actually think it’s pretty great that we post the good ones, cause it’s us being positive and choosing to see the good in our days. Every mom feels like they are failing. I know I do!! Thank goodness our kids love us regardless of our crap, right?! It’s so humbling to see Sophia forgive and love me no matter what. She is my biggest inspiration ๐ You are doing an amazing job, Amy!! It’s a thousand times harder doing this without the help of family, and I have to remind myself of that almost daily.
Thanks for reading, friend ๐ Can’t wait to have coffee again soon!
This is so beautifully said Mary!! We were obviously on the same page today! I am always so grateful that I have been able to connect with you and be inspired by you every day! You have such an effortless style that I love and you are such an amazing person!
It’s hard to not get caught up in the numbers and that’s why this post is perfect. I have to remind myself why I started in the first place!
Can’t wait to actually meet you in person!!
xo Bryn
http://www.waketonroad.com
Yes we sure are!!! That seems to happen a lot with us haha! Thankful for your friendship, Bryn ๐ Insta has it’s ugly side, but it sure makes up for it in connecting me to you and all the girls. So grateful for that!
Thanks for this Mary! I left my corporate fashion job a few months ago and love that I get to spend more time with my kids but need an outlet for me. I just got my Instagram running and I’m working on my blog. I struggling with how to get followers and things moving and definitely needed the inspiration today! Please continue with the great advice and tips!
That’s so exciting, Jaclyn!! My biggest advice to gain followers, is to network and to be yourself. Find your niche and and stay true to yourself! It can be a slow process, which is why I start doing the comparison thing. Please don’t hesitate to email with any questions or advice needed! I’m happy to help in any way ๐
Thanks so much for reading!
This is such a helpful post Mary! I have felt the exact same way as you so many times. I have to constantly remind myself that I do this for the sake of creativity and having fun, as the journey really is what it is all about.
Yes exactly! Thanks, April ๐
Oh girl you know I LOVED this whole post!! Thank you so much for sharing!! Love your heart so much you precious thing!!!
Love you girl!! โคโค
This is such a great post, thank you for sharing your thoughts. And it is so true, it’s an animal we all have to deal with…comparison can be a tough one to get over. Thanks for being YOU ๐
XO
Lee Anne
http://www.lifebylee.com
It’s such a tough one! Thanks so much, Lee Anne โค
Love this so much Mary! I can definitely relate to everything you said especially the comparison thing! It’s so hard not to! But you are such an amazing person and friend!
Thanks Maeve! So are you and I’m so thankful to have you as a friend!!
SO much yes. I get so sucked into the dang comparison game sometimes and it just kills my motivation! It’s so important to know when to take a step back and refocus! xo
I’m being honest here i’ve been blogging for years have hardly any insta followers and started last year receiving products for review. Im not wanting to sound like a downer because I love blogging! I do it to show other Mama’s you can be stylish on a budget with littles in tow. I compare alot and when I do I step back from social media, spend time with my family and remember that insta followers, blog comments and thr like are not essential in my life. If it happens awesome but it’s not what makes me genuinely happy. I appreciate the honest post because everyone has these moments! I love following you on insta! (I’m ruthyannie)
http://www.mylittlenest.org
Yes, I think that’s the key, Ruth, is to step back and realize what a bubble this blogging world is. I need to get better at unplugging. It puts things in perspective. I love following you and love your style! I hope to make it to Seattle soon so we can be real life friends and meet for coffee! Thanks for reading the post, friend ๐ค
I can relate to this on every level! I wish so bad that I could remove myself from comparison, but I’m so guilty of it…and, sadly, I do it far to often. Trying better to stay in my own lane and not spend time and energy comparing myself to others. Wish me luck! Ha! Xo!
Same here, girl. So hard not to!!
I am in soooo the same place all the time. The best way for me to combat it is to take a step away from all of it and let myself get back into the real world for a time before tending back to my IG. Every word youce said here is so spot on, Mary. Thank you for speaking your heart!
Such a great post, Mary! The companison game is hard to get around, and we all feel it sometimes! Your advice is spot on- being yourself is the best way to do it! Congrats on your almost-a-year blogaversary ๐
This is such a great post, I loved that you shared all of this. Congrats on almost a whole year of blogging, Thats super exciting.
Hi Mary, great post! I started blogging ~8 months ago and this definitely can be difficult to deal with. Taking a step back and reflecting on the “why” is the most important part to me. If it’s not sparking joy, then find what days & do it!
~Jessica
When comparison starts to set in for me, I try to get off of all forms of social media and read or watch a favorite show of mine. It’s good to step away from the blogging world for second, refocus yourself, and then get back to it. And I typically come back with some sort of inspiration which is even better!
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
Yes, that is so true Morgan! Nothing will snap you out of the lame insta probs like REAL LIFE! โคโค
The new instagram can be so frustrating at times! Definitely needed to hear someone else going through this, too.
xo Amanda John
http://strawberrychicxo.blogspot.com/
Yes it certainly can!
I absolutely LOVE this post! I took a few months off from Instagram because I just didn’t feel like my photos were good enough or that I had content worth posting. So many of the gorgeous, super styled photos don’t make much sense to me (like why are your flowers laying beside of your computer?! They should be in a vase!!), so I’m trying to concentrate on just doing my own thing and staying in my lane.
Thanks for your honesty!
XO, SS || Seersucker Sass
I think that’s the perfect plan! Everyone has their own feel and vibe and yours is purely your own and unique and that’s the beauty of it all. Thanks for reading, friend โค
I LOVE this! So needed to get off to a good start in the week! The comparison game is SO tough. Love this!
Such a great perspective to maintain when things get tough! Thanks for sharing.
Love this post! This is something I can relate to on a daily basis and I’m sure this post was a helpful reminder for all of us.
xx,
Amanda || http://www.fortheloveofglitter.com
๐ฅ
Right back atcha, prego ๐ฅ
Love this! So well said, should of read this last night !! Good way to start off my Tuesday though!!! <3